I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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