looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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