All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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