You're my little dorito
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
