the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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