He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
