We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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