did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
