You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
