thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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