It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
