i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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