What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
