At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
