you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
