if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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