Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
