I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
