oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
