Plan B is the new Plan A
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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