Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
