Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
