We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
