He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
