So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
