So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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