He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
