I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
