i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
