My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
