i jhust puked up my retainher.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
