Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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