I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
