He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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