i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
