youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
