hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
