dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
