Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
