But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
