bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
