dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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