He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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