got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
