Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
