There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
