I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
