I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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