Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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