I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
